


Far, Far Better Things

by dragonwings948



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Angst, Audio: Gallifrey: Time War 2, Friendship, Sacrifice, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27787939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwings948/pseuds/dragonwings948
Summary: Just before the very end of "Assassins," Romana and Narvin have some time to talk about what happened.
Relationships: Narvin & Romana II
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Far, Far Better Things

**Author's Note:**

> Beware spoilers, obviously, and also this fic will make very little sense without having heard Assassins.
> 
> Anyway, I am EMOTIONAL about Narvin literally giving up a new regeneration cycle for Romana, like I just...I just can't. I love them. 
> 
> Title from the C.S. Lewis quote: "Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave it with regret? There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."

Narvin didn’t panic as he and Romana were escorted to the lower levels of the Capitol and unceremoniously thrown into a cell. In fact, he didn’t even worry. He’d known this would happen; the only surprise was that they hadn’t already been executed.

He groaned as he picked himself up the hard floor. His limbs ached, every muscle crying out in protest. He supposed he still wasn’t recovered from the strain of nearly getting a new cycle of regenerations.

_Nearly._

He quickly pushed past that thought to take stock of the rest of his body. His insides felt like they were trading places. He crossed an arm over his stomach to try and keep everything stationary.

“Narvin? You don’t look well.”

He wiped a sleeve across his forehead, catching the sheen of cold sweat that had settled there. Not only had his body just gone through trauma, but afterwards, he’d been worried to pieces about Romana.

But he wasn’t keen on telling her the whole story.

“I, er…” He considered that he wouldn’t be able to keep it from her for long. Once he showed her the information he’d gotten on Leela and Ace, she’d want to know where it had come from.

Still…

“It’s a long story,” he decided on, trying to delay it for as long as possible. Maybe he’d be able to think better in a few minutes, figure out how exactly to word it.

Romana gestured to the empty, silent cell around them with a sarcastic huff. “We have time.” A moment later, her face fell. “No, no, I’m sorry.” She sighed. “Here I am treating you like you’re the guilty one.”

“You were only doing what you thought was right,” he said quietly.

“So were you.” She shook her head. “Years ago, I would have never believed that you had the better conscience between the two of us.” She slumped back against the wall and gazed up at the ceiling. “I’ve always sworn to protect and help Gallifrey, Narvin.”

“I know that, my lady.” The honorific slipped out without conscious thought. In a way, he’d never stopped seeing her as the President. Even after the mistake she’d made, it didn’t change that.

One corner of Romana’s lips twitched into an almost-smile; she’d noticed his slip-up. “When I saw Rassilon destroying our home…I couldn’t see any alternative.” She met his eyes and frowned. “You were right. You said it would never work, and it didn’t.”

Narvin looked away from her. He didn’t enjoy an ounce of victory in Romana’s defeat.

Romana continued, softer. “I…I saw our Gallifrey becoming something like the alternative one we stayed in for a while—do you remember?”

“You mean the one where everyone was stabbing each other in the back, literally?” He chuckled ironically. “How could I forget?” He’d never thought about it before, but what their own Gallifrey was becoming looked a lot like that Gallifrey had when they’d arrived.

“I couldn’t stand by and watch our _home_ become that, and much worse.”

Narvin nodded. “I know, Romana. You don’t have to defend your actions to me. I may not have backed them, but I do understand them.”

Romana rubbed her forehead. “I’m more trying to convince myself.” She paused. “It might have been worth it if I would have succeeded, but now…

“He’s Rassilon.” Nothing more needed to be said. Narvin had known from the start that he was practically invincible.

Silence fell over them. Narvin felt a spasm somewhere around his gut and flinched, drawing in a sharp breath.

Romana looked over at him in concern. “Narvin, what _did_ happen to you?”

He massaged the painful spot, avoiding Romana’s gaze. If he didn’t tell her now, she’d only keep pressing. It wasn’t like they had anything else to do while they waited for impending doom, anyway. “Mantus tried to bribe me. He told me that the CIA would be dissolved and he wanted to work closely with me. Even Rassilon offered—no, I suppose _forced_ on me is the better phrase—a position on the War Council.”

“What?” Her eyes widened, mouth opening in shock. “And you accepted?”

“I didn’t have any choice!” He shuddered. “It was terrible, Romana. He _commended_ me for trying to wipe out the Daleks at their genesis.” He swallowed hard. “To hear someone like him appreciate that blunder…”

“I’m sorry,” Romana said, her voice softening. “I know what it’s like; he congratulated me for trying to assassinate him.”

Narvin nodded in mute agreement. It was horrifying to think that there were parts of them that were so much like Rassilon.

Narvin cleared his throat. “Anyway, part of Mantus’ deal was…” He tapped his finger on the ground. “…granting me a new regeneration cycle.”

This time, Romana made no movement. She simply stared at him.

He continued on quickly: “He presented it to me before I even accepted his offer. He already had a zero chamber prepared and everything.”

Romana spoke in hardly a whisper. “Does that mean—?”

He gazed at a spot over her shoulder, still not willing to look her in the eye. He fidgeted. He didn’t want to tell her this part, especially because he knew she’d blame herself.

“Sometimes a jolt of pain does wonders for the mind, you know. In the chamber, suddenly everything fell into place. I knew it had been you all along, and I knew I had to stop you before it was too late. I told Mantus to let me out and ran after you, and then…well, you know the rest.”

He stared down at his hands. He didn’t dare see her face.

“Narvin,” Romana breathed. “You…”

“I knew that I’d made a mistake. I should have tried harder to stop you entertaining the idea—”

“You could have been given a new regeneration cycle!” she exclaimed, a hint of anger in her voice. “If you would have stayed in there, you wouldn’t have even been caught up in all of this with me!”

“I knew what I was doing,” he replied quietly. Even now, he didn’t feel an ounce of regret. “I accepted the consequences before I even left to try and save you.”

Romana remained quiet. Narvin bent his ears to listening, trying to find some sort of noise to fill his mind with, but all he could hear was the sound of their breathing.

“When you said you wouldn’t help me,” Romana said eventually, “I understood, but I felt…well, a little betrayed, if I’m honest. But perhaps a greater measure of loyalty isn’t how far you’re willing to go, but how much you’re willing to sacrifice.”

Finally, Narvin met Romana’s eyes. There was so much pain in her expression, but her eyes were soft, looking at him like she was seeing him for the first time.

“Do you ever think you’ve followed the wrong person, Narvin?”

“No, my lady.” He smiled a little. She tried to smile back, but her lips fell into a frown.

“I’m so sorry—”

He shook his head. “No. You don’t need to be; I made the choice, and I’d make it again.”

Romana swallowed, her eyes glassy. Narvin hoped she wouldn’t cry, because then he was fairly sure that he would start, too.

“What have I done, Narvin?”

Narvin scooted closer to her side and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You tried to save Gallifrey.”

 _“Tried._ Tried, and failed.” She placed her palm flat on the floor. “Now what will become of our home?”

“I don’t know,” Narvin said. “But at least, whatever comes next…we’re together.”


End file.
